I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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