I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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