Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
