My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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