He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
no, he came in my armpit
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
