Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
