Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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