one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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