I heard we made out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize