i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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