So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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