honey bunches of taint.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
