me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we should paint friendship bongs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
