Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
