So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
