my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
