Pants 0. Shit 1.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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