uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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