We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
