Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
