tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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