i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
