and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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