Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
