Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
