I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
