I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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