so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bring money and cleavage
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
