you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
