Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sober January is a disaster.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
