im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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