just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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