On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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