i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
