can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
