i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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