Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
