Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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