I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
