remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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