if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize