Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
