i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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