i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sext me about skeletons
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
