Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
