I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
