I'm drive I can fine osifer
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
