new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
