Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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