Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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