You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
