i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i think i have two assholes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
