i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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