Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
