why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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