You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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