i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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