A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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