He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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