I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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