paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
birth control should be required to get into college
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
