try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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