Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
